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Tycho / 2 days ago

When they want to craft another ambiguous Xbox platform, they should consider the nomenclature we deploy in today's strip - although from the sounds of it, there's just some performance weirdness generally on the new equipment. It's not a hundred percent clear depending on the game what's going on sometimes with the new hardware, and I have a ton of questions about it, because on paper these the new flagship systems are the sort of dragons you might find casually gnawing on the roots of Yggdrasil. I can't stress enough: I would have used that reference even if we weren't talking about the new AC. 

I really like Digital Foundry for this kind of stuff, if you feel like you want to lose some time to this today. They have a video showing some of the novel alterations in the new Valhalla patch on both systems, along with a thing that looks like a framerate stutter in cinematic cameras that only seems to exist on the Xbox - and the PC? Huh. This is more granular than my own rigorous technical assessment, which is "its borked lol." I generally feel smarter about a topic after I see one of their videos, which is increasingly rare upon the face of this haunted web.

(We've been filming all day, and it was more exhausting than usual.  I will use the paragraph here about Gabir Motors NEXT WEEK when we should have some cool announcements to that effect!  For today, I will swing into the same 4pm PDT slot with a mixture of Fuser and Kind Words probably because of who I am as a person.)

(CW)TB out.

New racing season!

Join us tonight for the first race of the new season! After a week off, the Penny Arcade iRacing league is back at it. The Pit Crew will open at 7:30 PT

-Gabe Out

Tycho / 4 days ago

Among its other virtues, Leonard Cohen's famous song is a masterclass on how to rhyme things with hallelujah. You might not think you need to know that kind of stuff, but you never know. Could be a manticore type deal, spectral bride situation kinda thing. Knowledge is power.

It also has the power to transform the trailer for the Snyder Cut into something perhaps a little… grand. Maybe too grand. Right? Too grand for chicken. I like Batman and I like Hallelujah but there is nothing about Ben Affleck's Batman that warrants this. I feel like you get to push a button like this once - truly rehabilitate something with it - and maybe I woulda saved it. I certainly didn't need it here, I was already interested. Where I'm at on the original movie from such a far remove is that it was deeply okay. An opportunity for a mulligan at this scale simply isn't common, and as somebody who makes things myself I'm incredibly curious about the outcome. How could you not be? What a terrifying prospect, this opportunity.  It's some monkey's paw shit. I'd never accept a task like this; it'd be like someone paying you to build an elaborate, multimillion dollar petard hoist designed explicitly to hoist your own petard.

There are two trailer tracks that I do go back to with some regularity, and without malice. One is the marvelous version of Something In The Way they did for The Batman, a movie I have decided to believe in.

The other is the orchestral version of Paint It, Black that was in the Destiny: Beyond Light trailer. Holy shit!

(CW)TB out.

Tycho / 6 days ago

I don't even get exposed to these powerful features, because as a rule I don't join open chats, and haven't since the first parties were introduced on 360. Arguably, we used GameVoice even longer ago to inoculate ourselves from that seeping realm. There was a very brief time at the outset of Xbox Live where people were sorta cool about shit. There was the sense that we had emerged from a darker place into a lighter one, and like so many crawdads stunned by a tween's flashlight, we were mostly just shocked that it worked and thus lacked the wherewithal to fully abuse one another. This idyllic state lasted - if I recall correctly - ten or so full minutes.

No etiquette can hold in these realms, no Marshal can tame them, and I'm reluctant to be psychologically hijacked by strangers so I never give them the opportunity. I will never care about winning as much as the least of these creatures so we're always gonna be at odds. I completely understand why they would be mad, looking at my ratios.

I wouldn't want me on my team either. I tend to star in such games, very near the end, where the final kill is rendered in interminable slow motion. My destroyer snaps the weapon to the shoulder, already firing.

I am looking the other way.

(CW)TB out.

Tycho / 1 week ago

The "new console" I'm after is a 3080, but regardless of which one of these devices you want, you can't really buy it. The only way to get one of these things is to have one sent to you, or to hurl yourself upon the resale market to the tune of (last I checked) about eighteen hundred bucks. That appears to be something like a stable price for the device, having seen it many times, and it's a multiple of six which indicates - to me at least - the involvement of The Beast.

Today is kind of a big day on the store, as this header image will attest:

We have unleashed the Acquisitions Incorporated: Work From Home Edition!

We've got an incredible soft pant Dabe calls a "jogger," we've got a Blood Blood Blood Shirt, we've got an on-brand replacement for your mask, and we have a reversible blanket that will also serve as a mystical cape in a pinch.  

Longtime ally Enfu has a few items on sale now, including new entries in his Kitties and Puppies pin sets from Pinny Arcade.

Speaking of which... at 4pm PDT today, we unleash the Pinny Arcade Double Secret Boxes. Right now, that link says Sold Out, but this is a temporary condition I assure you.

Please note that all existing Salvage Protocols are still unlocked, with custom tier gifts for Christmas plus free shipping on orders over a hundred bucks.


(CW)TB out.

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